When You're Not Looking

I've been looking at wedding cakes. That's not incredibly new. I've been looking at wedding cakes since October of last year. I don't know if I ever stated so on here, but when Josh went to Iraq, we of course had to push the formal ceremony back. The next possible time is May 2005. So, we'll have been married for a year or so before the formal one. Of course, we thought about not having it at all. But I really want the cake and the dress and all of my family. It's like my Grandma said, "Weddings are such a great way to bring everyone together." Plus I get my dress. Yes, I know it isn't the dress or the cake or blahblahblah. I mean, we're in love...and we're already married...so this is like the bonus.

Plus a wedding is right up my alley. I've loved dresses and dressing up when I was a little girl. Ok, I still love dresses and dressing up. After I helped Morgan get ready for prom this year(I really didn't help...I watched), I went home that night and tried on all my old prom and homecoming dresses. And I love desserts...adore desserts. At family potlucks, I headed plate first into the dessert table (ah! the dessert table!). Usually I'd tried every dessert, and then I would try all the other food. Why is it when we're little, we are so indestructible?

Looking at these cakes reminded me of my 2nd favorite cake, death by chocolate cake. I think the first time I ever had it, we were on vacation. I would guess I was about 8 or 9. And I remember eating it ever so slowly, waiting and wondering. Could you die from chocolate? Sitting in the restaurant chair, kicking my legs, I imagined a dead me surrounded by crowd of people.

One woman saying to another woman ( one had a hat, the another a blue peacoat): What happened?
Peacoat Lady(quite dramatically): Death by chocolate!
Hat Lady shudders: So young! So young!
It pans back to me dead, which looks like me sleeping only with a smile on my face, and an empty plate.

Isn't it odd that as children, we don't really know things like what a dead person looks like. So we imagine it two ways. You're either sleeping or you're a dripping, limping, moaning zombie.

posted by molly @ 1:15 PM