When You're Not Looking

It's raining outside. Isn't that beautiful? At least, it sounds beautiful from my third story apartment. So, about 3 weeks into my sophomore year, my feet and legs are sore from working 30 hours a week, and I've only been drunk 3 times since I've been here. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Craziness, pure craziness, I tell you, we spend our whole lives saying when I grow up, I'm going to do this. And this holds all these unlimited options swirling and unraveling before our imaginations.

Then, one day, you (or I, to put this into better perspective) wake up with priorities. That's right, friends and neighbors, priorities. I work 30 hours a week, and tonight after a frustrating night in fast food (because no one sees a human as a human as they are handing out fries), I get off the 22 Illini to see a gang of T-ville kids walking by my apartment, going out to have fun. And I felt infinitely old. It all happened so fast. It's weird to me that I'm going to an "Employer Forum" for Advertising, Marketing, and Sales on the 2nd, that I'm planning my life, well, at least my academic life 2 1/2 years in advance. Go ahead, ask me which classes I'm taking first semester of my 4th and hopefull final year in college.

But, then I realize those priorities are the paths I chose, the people I love, and the future I hope for. All the conditioning that I tried to do with myself through high school...tried to make myself a more thoughtful, caring person didn't prepare me for understanding and chosing adulthood. And it's scary, and it's beautiful, and it's magical, and it's unnerving because...

because I found some of my this.

posted by molly @ 11:36 PM 0 comments