When You're Not Looking

Dear Searching Eyes,

Yes, I can see that you are looking, looking for the answers. I see this cautiously coming from behind your brown eyes, behind your friendly banter. What can I tell you? How can I fill your void with my own? Yes, I too continue to look for those answers, and there are days I am convinced that there are no answers...and if there are, they do not matter. The grass is green, and although it rained today, the sun did shine...and the moon was full. Those are the answers I need.


Dear Logic Before Feeling,

Yes, it is true, good friend. We haven't kept in touch this last year or so. Sometimes your absence in my life worries me. How can this be? The only comfort I have is that the questions don't need answers and that the voice will come over my phone to remind me daily that love often defies logic. But take heart, I get your messages on my answering machine. Yes, things change. Yes, people, too, but we both know that throwing away something worth keeping is ridiculous and the farthest idea from logic. I often wonder if I mistake these messages as yours when it is only Fear paying a call.

Precious Feeling,

Yes, a day by day plan leaves me still in awe of the subtle changes life takes. True, not all are subtle, but the cycles of life are amazing, obviously still captivating me daily with the beauty of the world around me. But that voice, yes, the voice to wake me after the joyous Menuet from my cell, holds more warmth and happiness than I sometimes know what to do with. Yes, the mornings arrive, edged with gold and wrapped with promise.

posted by molly @ 11:15 PM 0 comments

As usual, the lights are dimmed, and the Mountain Dew holds its lofty position by the keyboard.This year held so many things, and yet it held an absence, too. It holds this absence of all the small things I associated with college and this absence of all those small things I lost after high school.

All of it reminds me of old Barbies still sitting in their clothes, waiting to fulfill dreams and fantasies, of diaries full of " I heart Jimmy...and Adam...etc.", and of mornings in Study Hall. I always hate to remember that I'm forgetting, even if it is the little things like the one boy that came to my kindergarten birthday or how the crazy inside jokes I had with my best friends in junior high. But it is sad, and I can't help to wonder what will replace my memories of today.

posted by molly @ 12:21 AM 0 comments